I forgot I have Cancer

The good news is I feel great!!!

I frequently forget that I'm in treatment for cancer...

Yesterday a wonderful friend spontaneously suggested a beach walk and I was ready and it was the first walk in months...I felt energized and renewed and I still do!!! Then I came home and gave myself a yoga session and did yoga again with my class at Yoga vista...It's amazing how much I have improved in one week!!!

I was in bed all weekend with chemo sick symptoms and now I'm back again...AWESOME!!!

Please join me for classes or request to return to private or shared sessions!!! So happy to be feeling so good...

Have a beautiful day ...even the heat is awesome!!!

MUST SELL!!!!

Alkaline Water Filtration System
The website shows this unit for $2,495.00

I purchased my unit from "Herbs and More" in Encinitas for $2,095.00
(a savings of $400)

Due to my financial medical needs to pay bills and living expenses...I MUST SELL!!!!

I purchased my unit on 6/7/10 and it's in pristine condition mildly used...the plastic cover on the front is still on the unit!

I just boxed it up and it's now with Steve at Herbs and More as he has kindly offered to help me sell it!

I'm selling this system for $1,500.00
 (a savings of $995 from website)
 (a savings of $595 from my purchase price)

You will also receive amazing classes and a wealth of support on many levels from Steve who owns Herbs and More!!!

Please contact me at theinnerhouse@gmail.com

Soul of Yoga fundraiser info

Soul of Yoga donation info with address

It's "Summer" Time!"
Announcing an ongoing Donation for Summer Autio

Please join us in supporting our incredible friend and Soul teacher, Summer Autio, in overcoming her body's battle with cancer. As you may know, Summer has been in this fight for several years and now needs our emotional, spiritual and financial support as she continues treatments . To help provide Summer with all the care she requires, The Soul Center for Spiritual Awakening (our new non-profit arm) has established a fund in her name and all proceeds will go to this cause. In addition, the Soul teachers who cover Summer's class when she is away have offered to contribute their compensation to assist with Summer's medical bills. At this time Summer is feeling well enough to teach her own Yoga class on Thursday evenings at 5:30pm ...you can donate to the fund by giving your tax-deductible cash or check donation made to: The Soul Center Foundation, Summer's Fund. This posting is from Soul of Yoga in Encinitas...you may call or google address
Soul of Yoga attn: donation for Summer
681 Encinitas Blvd. #305, Encinitas CA 92024.

September 23 5:30 pm is a special celebration to raise money for Summer's medical bills...come and join Summer as she returns to her class tonight!!! 

Click on link below to read special article about Summer in Coast News!
http://thecoastnews.com/view/full_story/9548821/article-Local-yoga-teacher-gets-support-in-cancer-battle?

written by Marcia to me...thank you

“I believe it in my soul and have shared it many times with Summer that she is not going through this because of anything she did or anything she has to learn. Rather it is for all of us around her to learn compassion, love and the joy of living in the moment.”

 

You said it perfectly........from the very beginning I knew.....this is about....LOVE.......this is about what can I LEARN. 

 

Summer is my teacher, my healer, for the first time, in long time.........I started taking care of Marcia, I did that by going to Reiki sessions with Summer.  I myself am a Reiki Practitioner....however, receiving has not been big on my priority list.  During my Reiki II training, I was paired with Summer...........Giving Reiki to Summer was like have the SUN RISE on my heart.  It was in the giving..........I RECEIVED!  Because of Summer's heart, I sought out her classes and Reiki treatments.  Every time I laid on the bed in Summer's healing room.....my LIFE was transformed.  

 

I will never forget the last time I went to see her..... she had been working with me about letting go of my opinion about Money, Kids, My Corporate Job.........I melted, I changed, I surrendered.........EVERY TIME!  The last time I saw her.....at the end of the session, Summer got up on the table with me.....I was sitting there in easy pose.....she hoppd on and sat there in front of me.....took my hands in her hands.....and told me...its back, the cancer is back and she proceeded to share her heart.....share her options.   I remember thinking....how can this be.....how can this woman who has totally infused me with Love and Light...Not be healthy....not be Immortal....she is that for me.........she is an Angel........and I will NEVER know... how it is supposed to be....Summer is Magick...she is a ray of light into my Soul....I don't even recognize what she is teaching me...she may not........but nevertheless....thru Summer.........Life is LOVING ME!

 

XOXOXO marcia

Teaching schedule confirmed

YOGA schedule
Monday
Yoga vista 6pm

Thursday
Soul of Yoga 5:30 pm

BLEND / pilates ...yoga and resistance movement and more!!!
Indigo Village
Tues only for now
9:15 am
starting September 21 this week!!!
$15 per class
check or cash to Summer Autio

Please visit my blog for more schedule info www.theinnerhouse.blogspot.com
Please visit my website for detailed class descriptions and more www.theinnerhouse.us

--
Summer Autio

theinnerhouse@gmail.com

www.theinnerhouse.us

post chemo sickness

UGH...feeling the chemo ...not as bad as before...not great either...hair is falling out a bit...good thing i have a lot of it...no worries...bald is great too...

sending much love on this beautiful day...wish I could be out in it...soon...love to all...

Don't forget...I'm starting back to teaching next week...check schedule on the side...

Coast News Article is on the news stands now...

Copy and paste this link in your window and you can read the article!

 http://thecoastnews.com/view/full_story/9548821/article-Local-yoga-teacher-gets-support-in-cancer-battle?

I love you Fatma and Steven!!!!

Today has been a very special day...I reunited with 2 special friends...a misunderstanding separated us over 2 years ago and today...we connected...it was so special...keep your heart open...you never know...

chemo today... and coast news

Coast News comes out today with the article that I was interviewed for.....please go get many copies...

I also have chemo today...

a good day coming...

Teaching schedule confirmed

Dear Yoga Friends,

I now have had several weeks to get used to the side effects from chemo and I feel like I can safely add a few classes back into my schedule.
Please do not come to class if you are sick or have recently been exposed to sickness...this will allow me to continue to work while in treatment.

YOGA schedule
Monday nights starting September 20 ...next week
Yoga vista 6pm
Thursday nights starting September 23 ...next week
Soul of Yoga 5:30 pm
Soul of Yoga has created a donation night toward my healing expenses and all donations for this class will help me pay my medical bills
More info coming about this special class

BLEND / pilates ...yoga and resistance equipment
Indigo Village
Tues only for now
9:15 am
starting September 20...next week
$15 per class
check or cash to Summer Autio

Please visit my blog for more schedule info www.theinnerhouse.blogspot.com
Please visit my website for detailed class descriptions and more www.theinnerhouse.us

I was recently interviewed for an article in Coast News...it will be printed this Friday...pick up a copy of coast news this friday!!!!
Love to you,

My daily prayer

May I be at peace.
May my heart remain open.
May I know the beauty of my own true nature.
May I be healed.
May I be a source of healing in the world.

– Tibetan prayer

each day is better

 Last night...I slept in my own bed for the first time since the hospital ...I felt more comfortable around my belly to be able to lie down without leaning against the sofa back to be able to sleep...A big marker for me...this has happened every time I've had surgery or challenges with my intestines and now I've come to realize that the cancer growth that was happening was causing intense pain...I hadn't felt that before...I can feel the chemo working...I can visualize cancer leaving my body...I can see myself teaching...I can see myself writing my book...I can see myself hiking and dancing and feeling yoga in my body again...I can see myself well...can you feel it??? I can FEEL it!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for healthy today!!!! Yeah for the feeling of love today!!!!

feeling a little better

coming out of the severe nausea although last night was a challenge ...I know I'm feeling better since I want to change all of the furniture around and do laundry...so funny what makes me feel good...I think I would like to try to start working next week...I need to contact my employers to see how that works for the wonderful subs who have been stepping in...I would like to teach Blend only one day per week for a while...tuesdays at 9:15 am...I would like to start next week...I'll confirm by emails and blog...not tomorrow...9/21...let me know how that sounds for those of you who are regulars...

Back to the high alert ...Please do not come to visit or attend any classes that I teach if you are symptomatic for any reason...or if you have recently been exposed to any virus ...I have to be extra careful due to the side effects of chemo...thank you for this awareness as this will allow us to be together again...

Love to you...
Summer

it's 5:30 pm ...how did that happen???

I'm just walking upstairs for the first time since yesterday morning...nausea is slightly better...had to take something for it...I'm so gross I need a shower...soon....the chemo hit me harder this time...I'll take it...it's working...love you all ...have a wonderful evening...good thing you can't smell through the computer...it's really bad...shower time!!!

feeling the chemo

came on little by little and now...not feeling so good...it will pass...

just started second cycle of chemo

Just returned from the first week of the second cycle of chemo...3 weeks on...one week off...feeling good and enjoying this beautiful day!!!!!

GREAT NEWS!!!!!

Yesterday was my check up with Dr. Bahador and I was given great news!!!

The blood marker that shows cancer (that needs to be under 10)...was 8500 one month ago...it is now down to 3200 after only one cycle of chemo!!!  A very good sign...

The biopsies that test for chemo compatibility show about 10 different chemos that can work and I'm on one of them now...so the plan is to continue as I'm doing and just move one step at a time...the only way chemo will stop is if it stops working or if it works so well that I show cancer free...of course you must know the direction I'm focusing on...

I hope to start rotating back into teaching soon...it seems doable to start with the monday night and the thursday night yoga first...then to see how I do and add one morning class on tuesdays...I'm supposed to rest more this time as things are still very serious...I'm just starting to feel like myself...so...another week to feel the chemo side effects and then I can safely add a few more things back in...

Many of you have responded to offer to be interviewed...the reporter will contact only a few people this time ...It's possible that another article will be written for another newspaper and more people can be interviewed...there are so many of you who are close to me in different ways...some of you have known me for years ...more than 25 years and others I have just met and yet ...it feels as if I have also known you for years...so much to share with each other and others...I value all of my relationships and feel such appreciation for all !!! I'm also going to be working on live versions of my book that will be written and to bring to life my blog entries and share on utube...I hope to start this next week...so sharing with those of you who have offered to be interviewed will be used for this too or instead of...we'll stay in touch about it!!!

I continue to realize that when someone you (we) love is sick...the fear of what if ....is present much of the time...it happens to all of us...I can only continue to offer you the challenge of staying present in the moment and going with the good ...bad and ugly for we will never understand the "time" for us...the comedian "Shimmel" (spelling might be off)...had cancer and wrote a book about it and he was recently killed in a car accident ...not from cancer...he used humor to describe cancer ...We could all use a good laugh at the expense of cancer...so much we can learn ...so many different ways to express our love ...our fears...it's all symbolic anyway...

As my experiences become your experiences and so on...we are sometimes going to feel left out...anxious....why hasn't she called me back...why hasn't she let me come over....why hasn't  ....???? I have experienced this many times myself with other friends...We can only go by what we think we feel is happening...if we continue to talk about it ...we can instantly erase those fears and move on with the good that can come out of these seemingly horrible circumstances. I have come to realize how challenging time is for me...it takes me longer to get ready...longer to call or email...I lose time...it vanishes...I can't remember who I have talked to and who I need to talk to ...I think I have emailed or called and it's been weeks...it is not intentional...if I hurt you or have hurt  you ...please forgive me...this chemo is milder than the other chemos I have had so I'm lucky ...however...it's still a heavy drug and I may not be fully aware of my timing...my words ...my style of delivery...ect...I'm doing my very best to stay on track...it's a lot to deal with...


EVEN THOUGH...I talk about being comfortable with uncertainty...I still have my own discomfort that I work with daily...
I'm not working...not sure when and how I can...I have my own fears of how money will appear in time to pay bills for another month...I have just paid September and that's it...I know it will all work out ...it always does...but I have the fears anyway...I have lost my freedom to get up and go ...to do what I do best ...to connect to my dharma ...to my purpose...instead I am faced with the unknown of the path of cancer and it's a daily challenge to stay in the moment and accept...When I'm able to accept this challenge...I connect to my teaching...my sharing through the experience of cancer...this is how these experiences have come to be gifts that most of us don't want to open...not fun...but happening anyway...It's easy to forget the energy it takes for me to just get up and face the day...I'm strong and determined but still need your patience ...and forgiveness....just answering simple questions is too much for me sometimes...it seems like no big deal for most of you but for me...it can be overwhelming...the simplest things...it really helps me if you have read my blog before you meet with me,,,it really helps me when you talk about your life and not about cancer...I will let you know when I need to talk about cancer...otherwise...pretend I don't have cancer and you are talking to me normal...with that said...we all know what is really happening ...so I still need your patience and your support and I want to give that to you as well...

...please don't meet with me and look at me with a sad face or a " you're going to die face and I'm going to miss you face" if you feel you might do that...let's talk on the phone about it first...otherwise...best to communicate from a distance...please don't ask me to call you back when you call...20 other people have asked me to call them back too...then I can't call anyone or I don't remember...I made all of these mistakes with Mary just recently...so I'm learning as I go too...I have learned as the caregiver and I'm learning as the care receiver...not easy...never perfect and always unfolding...so let's be brave together with loving honesty and a lot of patience...and if you can... remind yourself when I make mistakes that you can usually assume my intentions are good...I don't want to cause harm to anyone...I don't want to hurt anyone...I don't want to make any of you feel left out...I would love to visit each of you one on one and for hours...but time doesn't show up for me to offer these visits...

When I was in the hospital this last time...it looked grim...it felt grim...I guess if we perceive the transition time grim...it's not what I really feel most of the time....

MY transition time will ultimately be a celebration of life and our experiences together...but when it's happening or we think it's happening...so much FEAR arises and we all have our own ways of expressing that...I can only encourage you ...my friends....my support team...to stay with me in the present time...what looked like death nearing for me...has not happened yet and now I'm driving and strong and doing well ...just a few weeks ago...a few of my friends were calling hospice for me and ready to move things along...hospice is great and I'm really proud of what they do for the living and the dying...even helping the dying live again and the transition is delayed because the love from hospice is so incredible...so even IF hospice is called to assist me ...it still doesn't mean anything....and then again...who knows...I could die today ....I could die tomorrow...I could die in 6 months and I could die in 30 years or more...

 What gives purpose to my life and to our relationships is to use every moment of living to it's fullest...the way my car feels when I get to drive...the way the ground feels under my feet...depending on if I'm barefoot or feeling the ground from the different shoes I wear....to smell the air as the temperature changes...to feel my fingers touch the keyboard when I'm lucky enough to have the energy to blog....to taste the food I get to eat ...to get to eat ....to look into the eyes of people I meet through out the day...strangers and friends...to feel this human experience even though it's flawed in so many ways...to feel courage....to feel brave...to show emotion that might be difficult...to challenge our beliefs...to challenge our perceptions...to admit I don't know what the F... !!!!! is really going on and yet I only want to live and feel love and show love....even if it's to feel and give tough love...not hallmark love....I think it would be such a waste to just roll over and die or to hurry someone else along so I can get on with my life...I can say these things honestly because I have felt and done these things myself when other friends of mine were dying or living or whatever...we are all so tired from our day to day needs that we just roll over and pull the covers over our ears and push everything else away...the very discomfort that we are all ( me included) trying to run away from or push out of our way are the very experiences that bring color to our lives...texture...life force....it's what stretches us and pulls us up and around and down and back up again....without the discomfort we would live in a homogonized world and and we would all blend in and it would be miserable from the effects of complacency and mediocrity...we need the textures of life...we need the experiences so we learn that even the textures of love with all of the flaws and misunderstandings that come with it ...it so real and wonderful and crazy and scary and great and aweful and worth it if we stay with the trust and the faith that it's all part of nature ...the tao....the flow....the uncertainty...

Thank you for helping me in so many ways ...thank you for teaching me about life...thank you for your love and your honesty...thank you for letting me me honest ...thank you for this experience....

I'm sorry...

Dear Friends,

The other day I meant to be light hearted when I said so what's up ...you don't want to be interviewed...and so on ...I hurt some feelings of some wonderful loving friends...I didn't mean to do that...I rarely use humor this way and now I know why...it's so easy to take out of context...I'm sooooooooooooooo sorry for any harm I've caused...I only have deep love and appreciation for all you have done for me and my words hurt a few of you...please forgive me...I will do better to check my intention and meaning behind my words and try to not cause harm...for those of you whom this has hurt ...please remember my heart and know I have just made a mistake...if you need to talk to me about it...contact me...I love you...

elephant love

As you can see...Larry Marshall took this photo and Sue shared it with me knowing how much I love elephants...AMAZING!!! Thank you for the happiness!!!!

Response to question about food for bowel obstruction

I lost the contact info regarding a question regarding ideas for food intake that allows the possibility of navigating around a bowel obstruction...this answer is very difficult...I have had several bowel obstructions and a few surgeries were necessary to correct them...this last one I had/have ...is a constant concern...

First step: when possible and in my control ...all food was and is organic ...and consciously eaten and purchased...

clear liquids only and only small quantities at a time...I sometimes would be here for a week or more...in the hospital it was IV fluids only

Second Step:

When the obstruction seems better...how would you know??? It takes the xrays and the intuition that comes from having them to know for sure...

You can add thicker liquids and soft foods that are easily digestible...I was in this phase for several weeks...because I was threatened to have a nutritional bag as an IV nutritional replacement due to malnutrition and scary weight loss...I was highly motivated to figure this out...keep in mind I was moments from surgery so this was not taken lightly...every bite or swallow was an unknown...

I blended ...
avocados...raw sprouted rice protein...blueberries...bananas...pears...nut butters and seed butters...potatoes...cooked and then blended...hummus ...coconut based anything ...helped a lot!!! Papayas...watermelon...cantaloupe...anything that would soften and give me calories and nutrition...I was recently here for about one month

I then gradually added other foods when I sensed I could...I even ate organic potato chips dipped in mashed avocado or nut butters ...yum...can't keep doing that but really fun...

I have now gained ...at least it feels like about 5 lbs back which was my goal so I have to level off so much fat and high caloric intakes...I'll be phasing back into my juicing and some cooked food but less fat and just as nutritious...I hope I weigh around 105 or more I hope...scary skinny is not good ...healthy thin is good...I'm getting there again...

I hope this helps the person with the friend who has this challenge...I'm so happy I did this without another surgery or the IV nutrition ...a day ...a moment at a time...

Love and healing to you...thanks for your question...

would you like to be interviewed??

so much love that comes my way and only one or two of you agreed to be interviewed???What's up with that...when I love someone I can't wait to brag about that love...

anyway..met with a wonderful reporter today ...freelances for coast news and other papers as well...she would love your feedback...must be now!!!

Please contact me if you want to share the love...the article will be published next week but must be completed this week...you have something to share...do it now...contact me...

elephant love flowing

still sharing MOM joy

Still sharing from the Easter sunday photo shoot...compliments of my friend and brilliant photographer Barbara...now living in OREGON...miss you Barbara...

The last few days have been full of appreciation for the small little steps and the moments of energy ...so much I want to do ...honoring my energy...moments of energy and then rest....

I think I've gained a few pounds back...my  strategy is working...yeah!!! Almost ready to go back on the veggie juices ...it has been so much fun eating organic potato chips with avocado and nut butters...soon to be a memory as I don't want to eat like that unless I have to...I was 100 lbs...maybe I'm at 105???? I hope so!!!

So much love showing up with amazing food deliveries and water for chocolate infusions of love and heart felt emotions...if you haven't seen that movie from years ago...it is a must see...

I would like to exercise a bit but I'm still so weak... a little bit at a time...next week is filled with blood tests...Dr Bahahdor visit ( lucky me) and starting cycle 2 of chemo next Friday...my biopsy results should be in by then so I may be on a new chemo regimen ...

I can feel myself teaching again soon as I feel the energy of the treatment ...at least once per month would be great if not more...we can all come together to celebrate movement and life force...

Small steps...BIG appreciation!!!!

Love to all....

What a day!!!!

I thought yesterday was a huge marker of improvement...but today...wow!!!

Yesterday ...I had this feeling like maybe..just maybe I could drive in my neighborhood and loosen up some more cob webs...it worked...I was shaky and slow but I did it!!

So...today...I was on my way to visit my son at a 1/2 marker between my house and his and at the last minute he couldn't make it...then my friend who owns De La Sole Reflexology in Del Mar had called and invited me for a soothing healing foot love fest and I drove there and cuddled up with her and had the best time!!!

Then...I went and got my car washed...and then...I shopped at Jimbos by myself and then I came home...I was very weak and tired but I'm feeling awesome now...

I have been in this place many times before...not able to function too well and then one day...more and more improvement...WOW!!!

Still in the moment...taking it all in...staying present for all experiences...even the one's that suck big time...today I celebrate the special moments of coming back with the vibrancy that I know so well...

Sharing yet another photo of my son and I ...Easter Sunday...love to all!!!