chemo starts tomorrow

...starting chemo tomorrow at 1pm...it will be the first start while waiting for the results of the biopsy...I feel like I have been in 2 different car accidents...the first one from the fluid and fluid removal and now with the biopsy yesterday....I wasn't supposed to feel pain but I do....I have been in pain non stop for over 2 weeks....learning to breathe again within the pain...it's a weird feeling to be starting chemo again...this whole thing is so surreal ...the first time that I haven't had the feeling of grasping going into a cycle of treatment...staying in the moment for sure....I only have that...as i know more...I'll share more...I don't know what to ask for yet...I need to get a sense of the new rhythm of chemo and this pain ...then I'll know if I can work...when I can work or connect with others...right now...still cocooned off in a parallel universe..one where I can be well and pain free....