Dear Friends,
Wednesday ...a few days ago...about 1am I woke up with bowel pain that was minor cramping...I got up and went downstairs to the sofa to try to sit up more and rest by using all of my meditation tools for relaxing...I knew this was a familar place and yet...I have been able to bypass these more serious symptoms by stopping all eating...taking sips of water and not eating or drinking much for a few days...taking pain meds and anti nausea when needed...a few weeks ago this happened...progressed to more intense pain with vomiting and then after a day or so ...I was improving on my own...
This time was different...at 2am...the pain started to increase like before...I still thought I could work with it ...I told myself to just breathe and relax and I waited until the pain went to another level...at 5am I took pain meds and anti nauesa and within 30 min it became unbearable pain...the pain you feel when screaming is your only option...I went upstairs and woke up Jim and told him I was in trouble and that I better go to the hospital...I threw up on the way there and the pain got worse and worse...I got to the ER and they were great...got on daladid (sp?) and anti nausea and actually needed to have several rounds of daladid ...around noon...I was given 2 choices...get admitted for pain control until the bowel obstruction relieved itself or go home and see if my own meds would work...of course I wanted to go home and try...I got home...went to sleep and at 2pm woke up to the screaming pain again...my friend Theresa came and took me back to the ER and it took much longer to get the care that I got the first time...the triage nurse was not helpful ...actually rude and the staff were not as caring...finally I got the medicine...the pain was so bad I thought I was going to pass out just to bear it...I had to have a lot of pain meds...more tests were run and it showed a more progressed bowel obstruction...more serious than earlier thought...so after several hours in the ER ...I was admitted to the 7th floor at Scripps Memorial in La Jolla...I got to my room around 10 pm or later...more pain medicine at midnight which got me through the night...I finally felt a little better...
I have a wonderful room with wonderful care and after talking to one of my Doctors about WHY do I get these bowel obstructions and is there anything I can do to prevent them? I was told that the Cancer tumors are causing constriction on the bowel...even if the tumors are shrinking...the adhesions have caused a narrowing in one particular area and it's random as to when or if I get an obstruction...It's very frustrating but from what I understand...part of the chronic disease obstacles that one can expect from time to time...I know this to be true from my own personal experience and also from what I have seen my friends go through who had similar challenges.
I am monitored daily with tests and the bowel obstruction has only improved slightly...I have lighter pain now...very bearable without meds...
My blood just came back with my white count too low and I now have to wear a mask to be outside my room...I can't be around anyone who may be sick and I have to get a shot to raise my white count any minute now...this happened before a few years ago...I am now on Nuetropenic precautions...a sign outside my door alerting people to be extra cautious when coming into my room and to NOT come with any symptoms at all...
I feel strong and ready to come home and get back to my life...another small blip that can happen now and then...I just have to keep my spirits up when these things happen...I'm so grateful for every moment I get to stay here...even though there are so many challenges in life...sometimes it's depressing for some to even deal with what is happening in the world ...from day to day challenges...I feel all of those things as real and important but I would rather be here than to run away and check out...I really am fighting to live and I feel strong even though this is happening right now.
I still can't have any food or fluids by mouth...just IV fluids ...I have to be able to eat without pain before I can go home...I don't feel sick ...so the moment I can go home I'm ready to work and get back to it...
I don't want to waste one moment ...I have a longer break from chemo...a few weeks...probably a good thing since my blood is showing signs of the chemo...I will be working again very soon...hopefully by Monday teaching my Monday night class...I could be going home by saturday if I can tolerate liquids today. If not ...most likely Sunday.
Love to all,
Summer
Loving you... <3
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