day 8 in Mexico Monday

I went to Yoga this morning...it was quite gentle...just the right pace for me...very different and yet not...heart felt and warm and friendly from each woman...The teacher's name is Javier and he does not look like a yoga teacher and yet ...it doesn't matter...obesity is a huge issue here...even for yoga teachers...I'm going to return on Wed and Fri...it's only a few minutes from the clinic...it's just right...the room is very dated and very moldy...many places are moldy here....at the beach and also lack of building care and maintenance...it makes me appreciate home so much more...

I had my first vaccine this morning ...I collected urine for several days and it's sent away to a lab to make an antigen/anitbody against cancer using my body's own information...this is being done also at Andersons Cancer Hospital in Texas...many people get well from just that treatment...open mind..open heart...allow healing to come ...I'm quite sore from the shot...my husband will have to give me the shots at home...unless one of you has experience giving shots and can come to see me once per week ...let me know..I can't give my own shot in my butt...too difficult and too queasy...I'm  feeling very sore in my butt and thigh and leg and fluish feeling...they say it can last a day ...some people don't feel anything...I'm going to go to sleep early...lots of wonderful things going in and going out...I've lost weight again...I had just gained 6 lbs from before and now losing again...eating very well and have a great appetite but still losing...not forever...I'm at an almost good weight for me...Ok...sending so much love and so much peace to everyone on this special day...I hear Soul of Yoga opened their new space today...it's beautiful...please go visit them soon ...Take care and talk to you tomorrow...

Wonderful day

I was able to walk a lot today...I also found a health food store close to the clinic ...a healthy restuarant which I won't need...it reminds me of the early health food stores...very dated and very limited...there was confusion here at the clinic kitchen about walnuts being the same as pecans...I was able to bring back healthy walnuts...and then I stumbled upon a yoga studio below the store. I'm going to check it out tomorrow morning before my treatments start...I'll let you know how it goes...I'm so excited to find it...also very dated looking and old and I hope wonderful...we'll see...I need to move more than walking...I don't have my sticky mat and I don't want to lie down on the hotel carpet...my towel isn't enough...love to everyone...

wise words from Dali Lama

Dalai Lama As human beings, we are all the same, there is no need to build some kind of artificial barrier between us. With this attitude, there is nothing to hide, and no need to say things in a way that is not straightforward. So this gives me a kind of space in my mind, with the result that I do not have to be suspicious of others all the time. And this really gives me inner satisfaction, and inner peace.

Day 7 in Mexico...Saturday

What a day...

I had treatments done very early...back to back to back to back without any time in between...then I went with the driver Jesus and a patient and his daughter into downtown Tijuana/ Revolution main tourist area...I had been there before ...many many years ago...I didn't go to go there...I went for a change of scenery...the company was wonderful...Richard has brain cancer and went for an experimental surgery that was supposed to be 100% no big deal and he is now paralyzed...so he has brain cancer and is paralyzed...I am so lucky to be given what I've been given....the challenges we face can always intensify...he is a very positive person ...his daughter 27 years old is here with him as a kind and loving caregiver....daily... I witness a level of love and kindness that makes me only hope I can show up at least a 10th in that way...it's been amazing to be around them...

Jesus is a father and grandfather and lives fairly close to the clinic in Playa Tijuana...he picked me up last Sunday and escorted me across the border...his job is many things...one of them ...is picking patients up and taking them wherever and whenever they want and need to go...his other jobs are many ...he not only shows up to do his job well...he is the kindest man I have ever met...today was the most incredible opportunity ...it wasn't about going to Revolution Ave in Tijuana which was not appealing to me ...today was about my opportunity to witness pure patience...pure compassion...pure kindness...he helped Richard in his wheelchair...when Richard needed to go to the bathroom...Jesus helped him in the kindest way...when Richard missed the bathroom and wet himself...Jesus cared for him...when Richard had to pee again in a cup on the street...Jesus said it's ok Richard...if you shut your eyes no one will be able to see you...when Richard showed sad eyes...Jesus hugged him and patted him tenderly...I wept several times today...I wept because I feel so lucky to witness true tenderness...compassion...kindness and love...I am forever changed by being here...I not only came to the right place for my healing...I came to the only place...if love and kindness heals...I am healed...

I do Tonglen meditation daily for the injured dogs who howl on the street every night and day...whose sad eyes make me weep for the lack of kindness in the world...I weep for these animals that have no food ...no love...no caring...I don't know what to do with this...so I do Tonglen ...I do Tonglen for the animals
(dogs) I do Tonglen for the people who abandon these animals... every night I hear them screaming for food...screaming from the painful wounds left infected and oozing ...what an experience I'm having...For those of you who don't know what Tonglen is ...it's basically a loving kindness wish.. a breathing in the texture of pain and suffering no matter what it is and breathing out it's solution...light...etc...and it's so much more...wishing for all beings...including animals and every creature to have happiness...

Another touching moment was when we were walking down the streets of Tijuana...tiring of all of the desperate pleas to come into my store...please please senora I won't rip you off as much as the next guy...hee hee ...he really said this and then this warm young man who also has a store asked me where I was from and he said to me...when you go back home...tell them we are good and kind here...that it's safe here...tell them ok??? Tell them that they can come back...ok ...will you do this? I said yes...and I wept again...

What a day...

love to all

Day 6 in Mexico...Friday

No new news ...got done with treatments once again early and got back to my room before 7 pm...amazing....hopefully will rest well tonight...it can be a bit noisy...so many sick dogs...so many barking dogs...I didn't sleep all that well last night because of them...I'm right next to the bull fighting ring and it should be a wild few days coming up...hopefully ...I'll get some rest...sending much love to all...

Day 5 in Mexico

Another great day...all is well...not much different info ...same schedule...walked more this morning...made me feel better...more info from tests came back...could be worse but lots to deal with...still hopeful ...love to all...

A friend just sent this poem

One song can spark a moment
One flower can wake a dream
One tree can start a forest
One bird can herald spring
One smile begins a friendship
One handclasp lifts a soul
One star can guide a ship
One thought can frame a goal
One vote can change a nation
One sunbeam lights a room
One candle wipes out darkness
One laugh will conquer gloom
One step must start each journey
One word must start each prayer
One hope will raise our spirits
One touch can show you care
One voice can speak with wisdom
One heart can know what’s true
One life can make a difference
One person just like you.

day 4 in Mexico

I had a great day today...I took a walk for the first time... I need to exercise more...I will do that now that I have my bearings and I can tell it's very safe in the day time...

I have more treatments and more test results and more tests being done...I'm learning so much about my body...

I feel very very lucky that I found this place...so incredible!!!

I love you all so much...some emails are asking where I am...

HOPE 4 CANCER
Playas de Tijuana
Mexico

www.hope4cancer.com
Much love to all...going to bed soon...

Oh by the way...Earthquake last night( hotel room rocking )...I heard the epicenter was Coronado???? Also an Earthquake in Japan????

Day 3 in Mexico...Tuesday

Back to my room before 8 pm...I don't know what to do with all of the extra time!!!

Very busy schedule today...had several treatments...felt very tired and low energy today..the treatments are creating some detox symptoms..feeling better now...more energy...

The care here is wonderful...so happy I'm here...very surreal...very wonderful...very blessed ...

Off to take a shower...so excited....love to all!!!

Day 2 in Mexico

LONG day and it's only going to get more intense...

I went to get an ultrasound because they are numerous lymph nodes in my groin and some concerns about my neck...

Treatments so far have included and will continue to include coffee enemas
(special organic coffee not for drinking out of Canada)  2 enemas per day (only had one today) Laser treatments.....infrared treatments both sauna and other types...this heated cocoon type of heated treatment...light treatments ...homeopathic remedies....liquid vitamins ect...I also had a special appointment with a nutritionist because I'm allergic to everything and that has made them nervous...we have come up with a good plan...I felt like she understands how I eat and how to help me in a positive way...I met with the main Dr. Tony Jimenez and he is wonderful like Dr. Bahahdor...caring and loving and all of the good things that make this entire experience bearable. He also ran some specialized tests...more treatments and more tests as we go....I can't even remember how to explain them all...more involved than I have time to explain...

The blood work came back great....so weird and the ultrasound shows some concerns about the groin lymph nodes...not certain if the lymph nodes are malignant...the treatment is systemic so my treatment would be the same if they are or not...I had a test that shows so many things about the imbalances in my body...I have a chance due to how strong I am...I'll know within the 2 week period if I'm responding well...there is a protocol that is very intense ...about 5 hours per day ...they recommend strict follow through for 3 months ...then they check you again and see if the treatment is working...for some...you buy time...for some...remission...for others... it doesn't work...I hear story after story about healings here...even for some who are very very sick...I know I'm in the right place and I know I will be ok no matter what!!!!

I will get to the clinic by 8am and get back to my room about 8:30 pm and start all over the next day until I leave...it's long and intense and great....I also get to get some shots in a few days...a vaccine that is made from my own urine ...this vaccine is also being used at Anderson Cancer Hospital in Texas...it tests your antigens to the ca -125 ...we'll see...staying open...staying open...staying open...

What they want me to have ready at home will be costly and absolutely vital for my continued treatment...I know that many are continueing to send donations...it looks like I will need help for a while...I can't wait to reciprocate when I'm strong and I can be a giver again...as I know more ...I will share more...

Much love to everyone...must go to sleep...long and life giving days ahead...thanks for the emails...even if I don't have time to respond individually...it helps me so much to hear from you...

Love

I've arrived and I'm in my room

Hi everyone!

So far so good...I've arrived and have checked into my room as an outpatient and I'll be starting treatment tomorrow...preliminary testing was done today for some of what will be done tomorrow so getting a jump start is very helpful...it's a bit surreal to be here...I actually feel it takes more bravery for me to step outside of my comfortable home environment and risk this environment...I think I made the right choice to be at this clinic ...there were 2 patients who left Oasis of Hope because they were very upset about their care...it was a big...really nice environment but they only saw nurses and the drs were not available...they came down the street to Hope 4 cancer and they already see improvement after one week...these patients came in on wheelchairs...it feels very clinic like and yet very loving and happy...it's small and unassuming and very basic...it feels wierd and good and I know this must be what I need to do ...this is clear to me...my lymph nodes in my pelvis and my neck have grown...no pain but very much there...I have so much to face here and in general ....and I'm embracing this as an adventure..the hotel I'm staying in is called Deli Suites and it's run by a woman who is wonderful ...the majority of the people who stay here are going to clinics...it's very loving and hopeful...I also have free internet here so I'm really happy I brought my computer...so now...I can update easier and you can email me contstantly and I can communicate and this will help me so much...

I love you and I can't wait to come home with vibarancy and a miracle...

See you soon and talk to you daily or more!!!!!

quote

“When you have come to the edge of all the light you have, and step into the darkness of the unknown. Believe that one of the two will happen to you, either you'll find something solid to stand on, or you'll be taught how to fly!” 

~Richard Bach quotes

 

I just saw this posted on facebook...lovely...

testing post from my phone

test

Generosity is amazing!!!!

Dear Friends,

Two days ago...I reached out asking for donations to help me get treatment...by 4:30 pm this afternoon...
$30 thousand dollars was donated and I met Tom at Soul of Yoga to pick up a check from the Soul of Yoga's non profit account! Moments later, I was at my bank making arrangements to make payments to the clinic in Mexico!

I am so happy and grateful and a bit tired from the deep love that has been shown. Many people who donated are complete strangers...I have just enough to get to Mexico...so the money that continues to show up will be incredibly helpful for the ongoing medical needs when I return.

After careful research...I have decided to go to Hope 4 Cancer...a clinic in Mexico using the most advanced options for alternative care. I will arrive there this Sunday and start treatment immediately! I will stay in a hotel 5 min from the clinic as an out patient due to unavailability in the main clinic...there are no openings for 2 weeks and I don't have that kind of time!

I'm very happy about my decision and very grateful for the outpouring of support. I have been blessed by the fundraiser from Yoga Vista and the ongoing support and donations that are given through the Soul of Yoga non-profit center. If anyone would like to donate and receive a tax deduction you can contact Soul of Yoga in Encinitas and ask for Serena...she will guide you with the information for donations. I'm so humbled by the response...one person donated $16 thousand dollars...a stranger...who does that???? I'm so touched and surprised and I just don't know what to say...what if this can save my life???? WOW!!!!!However large or small ...even and especially the heart felt cards that were not filled with financial support but emotional support...have lifted me and have helped me ...some of you were sad that you couldn't give me more...please know how special and how important every penny...every loving thought...has helped me feel loved and supported...I will honor you by doing everything in my power to heal and give back that love and kindness for the rest of my life! Every teacher who subbed for me and didn't get paid...every person who shows up to fill up with the loving spirit of yoga...I am forever grateful!!!! Thank you to my friends and clients who are extremely generous in so many ways...I am blessed...I could spend hours thanking everyone...please know how much this means to me!

I will be away in treatment in Mexico for 14 days and back home to continue the treatment for an additional 2 weeks ...full time treatment....once that period of time is complete I continue with a set protocol while continuing to be evaluated and monitored...If this treatment plan works for me then I'll return to my work schedule and my regular personal schedule ...if it looks like I must move on to another treatment plan then I'll be guided as to what is best at that time.

I know what I'm facing ...I know the reality of what I've been given. I also feel at peace with whatever comes. I have so much to be thankful for and I won't waste one moment of this precious time ...I feel so loved and in return I'm given so many opportunities to give love.

Although, I just bought a specific plan for my cell phone to use in Mexico...it's still very expensive...texting isn't so bad...the best thing to do is to blog or email as I have a smart phone to access both of these ways to communicate. Please only call or text if you have an urgent matter ...it's ok ...just be careful...I won't be taking my lap top after all...it's quite costly to on top of my cell phone expenses to add that to the mix...I can email and I can blog through my cell phone...I will send updates so we can keep in touch...there is a phone number there for you to check on me if you need to....I'll send that on soon...

I won't be working for a while...anyone scheduled privately or classes that I teach called Blend will not take place until notified by me...the classes that I teach at Soul of Yoga on thursday nights at 5:30 pm will be taught by a wonderful teacher ongoing until I can return...the monday night 6pm yoga class at yoga vista will also be taught by wonderful teachers...thank you to all who are covering for me!!!

Love to all and deep peace to all,
Summer

blog: www.theinnerhouse.blogspot.com
email: theinnerhouse@gmail.com
cell: 760-707-7610

urgent news to share

Dear Friends,

With every part of my being...I was hoping that I would never have to come to this place of acceptance or the place of the reality of survival.

I came out of my experience at Optimum Health in a state of happiness and peace that I have never known. I'm grateful for that time and I was so sure that my blood work would reveal what my spirit was and is feeling.

What I do know is that my blood work cancer markers are rapidly increasing and that the cancer is spreading ...I now must quickly choose a treatment plan that requires a substantial amount of money. The fund raisers have been amazing and the contributions so helpful but no where near what I need to enter a treatment program.

I need to raise $35 thousand dollars immediately...I would like to borrow $5000 from 7 people or $2500 from 14 people or a combination of ...to equal that amount...I need this NOW...if I'm lucky enough to live a long life...I will pay everyone back either through the fund raisers that are still continuing ...or from my work hours and a pay back plan that we can arrange...if I'm not lucky enough to pay you back...then this would become a donation and each one of you will have to look at your own financial situation to know if you can risk that as a donation instead of a loan.

It is very hard for me to ask for so much at this time ...so much love has been shown to me in numerous ways and yet...I have to ask for more...I appreciate the consideration ...Please email me ASAP...

I plan to teach today...Thursday 5/21/10.

There are complications that could occur at any moment due to a bowel obstruction that is showing both on the CAT scan and the current symptoms I'm having...it also may be correcting on it's own and at this moment I feel good...I'm not in this moment feeling acute pain or discomfort.

I would love to see you at Blend this morning at 9:15 am and or in my  Yoga class tonight at Soul of Yoga in Encinitas at 5:30pm...

Due to the uncertainty of my situation...I don't know what my work schedule will be after today...I most likely will not be working for a while due to a treatment plan I will need to enter...I will keep in touch regarding all that is going on...

I haven't updated my blog recently but will do that from now on...

www.theinnerhouse.blogspot.com

There is so much I want to say ...so much love I want to share...so much gratitude and appreciation I wish to talk about and exchange with you...for now...due to the urgency of the moment...I just want to say I love you and thank you for all that you have meant to me in my life!

Love and peace to all,
Summer

Tuesday afternoon

Shared Blend with a wonderful class in Encinitas this morning...reunited with my incredible friends/students...great class and great energy!

Worked all day and felt the wonderful flow of my schedule...back on it!!! 

Ready to embrace this cleanse ...continuing...ongoing...so happy...Love to all!!!

Tuesday morning

It was wonderful to be back teaching at Yoga Vista last night...went and had tea next door at the Yellow Deli...fantastic place...starting my juicing today with awesome green juice...looking forward to my day...reuniting with the Blend group this morning in Encinitas...9:15 am...check schedule to the right of blog for details....ready to work the rest of the day....spoke with Mary last night...she is vibrant and wonderful ...what a view....I'm so grateful for her!

Love to all today!

Waking up in my own bed ahhhhhhh

Monday morning and I feel so good back at home...getting ready to go for a walk and prepare for my day...ready to continue with my raw food diet and adding more greens to the program...love to all who have been so supportive and continue to be supportive...I'm so happy!

I get to work today...including my first yoga class back...Yoga Vista tonight...Monday at 6pm...hope to see you there...Much love everyone...have a wonderful day!

Day 28 at Optimum

Sunday...today is also Mother's Day...Love you Mom!!! Everyday is Mother's Day...

I leave this morning...going home to integrate and to continue to take a day at a time ...live in the present moment and allow life to bring me to a place of deeper love...respect for others....deep peace in my entire being...and so grateful for all that I have been given...

The time here has been just right and although...I could say this could be better ...that could be better..it has been exactly what I needed as a step towards awareness without anxiety...

I look forward to re-connecting in person with you this week...I have another wonderful Buddhist workshop this coming full weekend...another opportunity to deepen for me!

Blood work on Friday...more info the following week...for now...staying in the moment of complete wellness and healing...I love my life!

Mary is still shining her external light with grace and beauty...I'm with you Mary...thank you for this gift of love and the radiance that extends out from you ....I feel you! I see you...forever!

Day 27 at Optimum

An early entry...Saturday afternoon...
preparing to leave this place and integrate back into my real world...
I've had an amazing day today...walked this morning...same routine...sat out in the sun and soaked up pure healing...ran some errands and now just preparing to get up very early and pack my car...adding flats of wheat grass and sprouting items...sprouts are forever my friend...this was the perfect situation for me ...my anxiety about all that has happened has changed into peace...I'm ready to embrace my life with love and true peace in my heart...I have more love inside of me and I feel more love coming in...thank you again for sending me such healing during this precious time here...thank you thank you thank you...I'll write in the morning before I leave...then...it's back to the beautiful work that I get to do ...I'm stopping by to see my son for a Mother's Day hug and exchange of great energy and then ....unpacking and whew...integrating...so HAPPY...see you all soon!

Day 26 at Optimum Health

Another inspiring Friday night at Optimum Health ...talent night...it was great...back to my room late...wow...super late for me! Getting closer and closer to coming home...feeling ready...excited...blood work next Friday...open to my path and living very present...love to all of you...have a great evening and a beautiful weekend!

Day 25 at Optimum Health

Thursday was a wonderful day...I lost 2 more pounds...oh no !!! Don't worry when you see me...although I'm thin...I feel great...I'll put on a few pounds when I get home and add a few more raw and healthy calories...I've now lost 18 lbs...I just feel so good...something is working...I need my muscles back though...soon...I'm on my way out for another walk...I've been walking every morning...I"m listening to great uplifing cd's ...dvd's about wellness and affirmational alpha meditation and such...all helping me...love to all...coming home Sunday afternoon...my port looks as big as my breast now...I look like I have 3 breasts...hee hee...

Day 24 at Optimum Health

Wednesday ...ahhhhhh...Mary asked me to come see her today...she is starting her transition...it is clear to both of us and it's beautiful... we laughed...we cried tears full of warmth and love and appreciation that we have had such a beautiful bond together...she will be with me always...giving me strength for all that comes my way...please surround her with your pure light of intention of transparency and love...she is an angel on earth and will continue to be an angel...I love you Mary...thank you for all that you have shown me...the beauty of transition...the love that you share so easily with all of us!

Back to my room...juiced all day...small meal tonight...going to take a short walk to release and nourish my body and mind...I feel excited about being here this week...I feel excited to go back home and back to work next week...it's great to step away and realize again and again...how much I love what I do...see you all very soon...with my deepest love ...my whole being is healed...

Day 23 at Optimum Health

What a wonderful day today... it started off the same way and then I took a trip to my house for a looooooooooooooooooot of laundry...whew...I had to miss my Qigong class because of it...darn...but I got bills paid and house stuff done and now I'm back ...I juiced all day and then had a salad tonight...YUMMY food...juice again tomorrow all day and a small dinner at night..same thing...sending much love to all of you...I'll be working next week starting Monday...clients that are scheduled will start again for the week and classes will resume...Blend on tues/thurs 9:15 am and Mon night yoga at vista 6pm and Thurs night yoga at Soul of yoga 5:30 pm...looking forward to seeing you all...I won't know the next step to take until blood work is done and I have more info...for now...in the present moment...living my life daily with gratitude and love and I feel fantastic so there you go...working regular hours and taking it one step at a time...I love you all...Summer

Day 22 at Optimum

Enjoying and appreciating my last week here at Optimum. Also ...appreciating the opportunity to be here and to have a chance to calm my mind and my spirit so I can embrace healing without fear. I feel better than I have my entire life. I am happy and so grateful to be alive and sharing with my friends and family and all beings that we can be happy ...we can choose happiness...no matter what life brings to us!

Much love everyone...see you soon!

Day 21 at Optimum

What an inspiring and exciting day! I received my certificate for Masters level Reiki!
The new Soul of Yoga location...soon to open...is already beautiful and planned to be even more wonderful!
I'm now back in my room...ready to shower and go to bed early and to relish in this incredible transmission...

Thank you to yoga vista for all of the love that keeps coming my way...

Namaste,
Summer

Day 20 at Optimum

Saturday ...what a special day!

Started off going to my masters level Reiki training...so special and so meaningful for me...a day of meditation...this also coincided with the yoga vista fundraiser...I had hoped to go there and spend 2-3 hours but the day was so full that I decided it would be best to show up and feel the love and am I glad I did...AMAZING love was in the house! I was loved up and down and all directions and then some...what a special day and what a special event that Sherry from Yoga Vista sponsored!!! I saw many familiar faces and some new one's too...I understand the earlier part of the day was also wonderful...Love to all who have participated with your presence ....your donations...your healing love...I feel it so deeply...thank you from the deepest part of me...I look forward to sharing yoga and special times again very soon!!!

Have a beautiful weekend...I have one more Reiki day so I'm going to rest and feel the continued energy flowing from this wonderful community!

Day 19 at Optimum

I'm behind in my posts...Friday was awesome...I hiked at Balboa Park and then did yoga......awesome morning and a restful healing afternoon...they have talent night every Friday night...it's soooooooooooooo inspirational...often times very silly and seemingly meaningless...yet...uplifting...