still in hospital

I'm sure your love and healing wishes have helped me through the pain...I've been off of pain meds for over 24 hours now...thank you for that level of healing ...the current challenge is what is called dependent edema which has accumulated in my hips and have caused some body distortions...I have about 15 lbs of fluid on my body right now...very uncomfortable...my belly is also filling up with fluid again...the procedure to remove the fluid is what has been causing me the severe pain....to have that procedure so soon would be very difficult...this whole thing has caused my bowels not to work so I also need help with sending me releasing energy from my body...fluid accumulation and sluggish bowels...if I could get through this part I would now feel ok...I don't think I have had many side effects from the chemo yet...it takes about 11 days to feel some of them...I have also felt very emotional and sometimes I just cry...this doesn't take away from my will to live or my strength...I don't feel death...quite opposite..so my life force is good...this blip has been very challenging...similar to the more serious surgeries in the past...it has me and my doctors somewhat baffled and what most people don't feel from procedures I feel intensely with strong reactions after for several days...I hope to go home tomorrow and continue to deal with these symptoms at home...maybe the movement at home will help things move along...my next chemo is this Friday and again after that...I miss my work..my friends and my rhythm ...I know we don't always get to have what we want...I only want simple things...I want the energy and the health to continue to offer to others...I know I'm supposed to be here ...to teach ..to share love and compassion with others....I welcome your love and support and I welcome emails as they help me feel connected....I'm breathing in the moments that I find myself in...I feel the energy of your love and support and I want you to know how much it lifts me...please continue...since experiencing darkness is also part of the balance of feeling the light...it helps me know that my body is trying to find that balance. Much love to everyone...